Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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