Will you blow on my dice?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
