My friends, they love my intelligence
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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