Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
