New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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