Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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