you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
