The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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