Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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