I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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