o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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