guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
