is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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