I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
