fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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