I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
