so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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