I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
