after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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