Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
