I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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