Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
