If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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