Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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