I wanna bring you to show and tell
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He felt like a one man threesome
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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