Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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