You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
