are you so shy because you have an std?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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