I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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