I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
