I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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