When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
