I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
