The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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