Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
