At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
