we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
