I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
