Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
