The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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