normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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