Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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