Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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