if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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