dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
