i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The beers last night were like the tears from god
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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