Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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