Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
