he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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