At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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