she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize