get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
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I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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