another moral hangover. fuck.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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