i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
