Will you blow on my dice?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize