Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
