Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
