it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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