You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize