my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
sarcasm needs its own font
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
